OMG!!!how long have i not posted??? final exams are coming and im stressing out not because of studies but because of friendship problems
i just dont know what she is thinking she has her problem and i dont have mine she thought she knew the real me but actually she didn't maybe she knows but hasn't she heard thgat people can change? i can tell that she changed but i haven't i am still the marabelle i was last year... playful, naughty,shy to strangers, defiant from a goody goody girl to a girl that can hurt someone deeply that change is a very big and noticeable one.
she said she love me(friend friend love) and she said that it will last that way forever but look at what happened now even others can see the difference i feel like we were once married but now divorced and we are avoiding each other now like we cheated on one another even my mum can tell the difference
everyday i go to school with my hopes so high that you and i will always be bestfriend forever but alas your actions killed my heart. maybe you cant see the difference in yourself but the people standing at the sidelines can see better everytime i look at you smile with others i will ask myself what exactly did i do wrong? so wrong for you to ignore me?
during lesson time you said you have to rely on yourself for good grades so i stopped asking you questions and let you concentrate but instead you took it as a misunderstanding. there is a lot of things i want to tell you but i just simply cannot say it to you in face not now if not our friendship will be strained why cant we go back to the times when we were having fun so much fun to land us what we became today as bestfriends
i hate to put on a smiley face and say yeah im okay when dena ask me if i am okay and she not only ask me once but twice thrice and after she ask she will give me a pat on my back when she does that i really wished that you will do that to me you said that you were afraid that i will kick you aside when i found new friends but did i? i kept my promise and stayed by you and what did you do to me? you threw me aside you did not want to talk to me you went off with anybody without telling me where you are going maybe you are thinking that i am not your mum and i have no control over you okay that is fine with me but when someone needs to find you urgently the first thing they do is ask me where you went and i had to say i dont know when i am supposed to know just because i am you bestfriend
people said that if you love someone then you will let her go i am gonna listen to that and let you go your own way i have done it once and i am doing it again silvia left me when i thought she was the one and i turned to you when she let me down now its your turn to let me down and i have no one to turn to i cant keep telling dena or she will not have time for winse i cannot tell nicole or she will be unhappy with me again i cannot tell winse orgena or debbie if not they will just say cheer up when i simply cant i cant tell anyone and so i have to turn to myself
whenever i cry when i am not supposed to i tell myself who the hell am i crying over and when i told myself its you i got angry because deep down i know my place is already cleared just waiting for the next person to come along and settle down
if you have any problems next time then feel free to call or text me to share with me even though the chances of us being bestfriend again might be slim but still i am harbouring some hopes. hope that even if we cant be bestfriends we can still remain as good friends
i will look before i fall the next time someone right comes along